Let’s be real – when it comes to South Park games, ‘Snow Day’ feels a bit like the runt of the litter. Compared to the epic RPGs, this one’s like that weird side story you only half-remember from a marathon binge-watch. But hey, even B-plots can be a blast!
Picture this: a killer snowstorm hits South Park. Roads are impassable, people are freezing to death, it’s glorious! And, of course, Cartman’s ecstatic because… no school! You, the ever-present New Kid, find yourself smack dab in the middle of Kyle and Cartman’s fantasy war reenactment. Elves versus wizards – the usual.
One thing Snow Day nails is the vibe. The opening cutscene is typical South Park brilliance, and Cartman’s rant about those of us who “ruined” the past games by finding overpowered tricks is comedy gold. He swears things will be balanced this time… yeah, right, Cartman.
Then, the gameplay hits. It’s a mix of hacking, slashing, and zapping, played from a third-person view with a wave-based co-op structure. You’ll relentlessly slaughter adorable little elves (for starters) while tackling objectives across iconic South Park locations. Snow Day forces you to be equally good at melee and ranged combat, which at least keeps things interesting.
Cards? Against Humanity? In MY South Park Game?
Basic combat is… well, basic. You got your combos, charge attacks, and a choice of four ranged weapons. Burning stuff is satisfying, but things only truly click the moment you get your grubby mitts on the card system. Now THAT’S where the real fun (and chaos) lies.
Power-ups come in all shapes and sizes: Faction-specific cards you draft before a match, ones scattered across levels, and ones you can buy from shady characters like Butters. You’ll be boosting weapons like crazy – swords that block from all angles, vampiric daggers, an axe-spin that turns you into a tornado of death… it gets wild. Each weapon has tiers of upgrades, fueled by the mountains of toilet paper you’ll hoard on each run.
Then there are the “dark” cards offered by the goth Henrietta – powerful boons that come at a steep price. Sometimes that cost is in-game currency, sometimes it’s a major gameplay debuff. It’s a gamble… but then again, so is everything else in this game.
The Pinnacle of Stupidity: “Bullshit” Cards
These are your glorious match-changing moments. Each side gets ONE Bullshit card per match, and oh boy, do they live up to the name. Picture this: the action grinds to a halt, the announcer belts out “BULLLSHIIIIT”, and you either find yourself in a very good place… or in a very, VERY bad one.
One card revives ALL dead enemies. Great if you were winning, horrible if you’re suddenly neck-deep in a horde of pissed-off elves with zero backup. Luckily, you can counter with your own Bullshit card – like summoning an army of minions. They’re wildly unbalanced, and that’s the whole point. The escalating levels of ridiculousness as matches progress is Snow Day’s saving grace.
When the Laughter Dies Down
The thing is, getting to those crazy moments can be a chore. The core gameplay is just too barebones, leaving stretches of mindlessly whacking away without much excitement. The environments might look cute, but they’re small, linear, and the rewards for exploring are pathetic.
Worse, Snow Day is brutally unfair at random intervals. Sure, the Bullshit cards provide wild swings… but sometimes they go too far, yanking away victory right when you thought you had it. Like the resurrection card that once scattered our team and left us getting slaughtered as we helplessly revived one by one. Ouch.
This game is also SHORT. You can breeze through the core content in one evening. While there’s replayability potential, the limited stages and the way DLC is shoved in your face at launch… it’s a bit of a bummer. Honestly, they should’ve packed more into the core game instead of banking on expansion sales.
The South Park Charm Carries It (Somewhat)
Don’t get me wrong, the license is used well. The incidental dialogue from beloved characters scattered throughout the levels is hilarious. From toilet humor galore (this is South Park, after all) to surprisingly clever gags that made me chuckle, it’s definitely got that authentic feel. Cartman’s commentary on your playstyle is a highlight, like how he mercilessly mocks your overuse of blocking or your constant deaths. There are even great running jokes, like the fact toilet paper is king during this snow-fueled lockdown.
So, Is It Worth It?
If you LOVE South Park and have buddies equally into it, Snow Day will give you a few good laughs for a while. But let’s be real – there are way better co-op games out there, and even better South Park games, honestly. Snow Day is amusing, but just like an actual snow day, it gets old fast. Think of it like a fun little detour on your South Park adventure, not the destination itself.
